# The dog who had to say hello to everyone | Diona The Trainer Herne the Large Munsterlander from Thornbury lost his hearing for his owners the moment another dog appeared. FOMO reactivity in a teenage dog, the bow-and-arrow problem, and what changed. By Melbourne dog trainer Diona Chu. By Diona Chu ยท 6 minute read --- Herne is a Large Munsterlander from Thornbury. Sophie and Tassia brought him to Diona because he would lose his hearing entirely the moment a dog or person appeared in his line of sight. He would bark, pull, lunge toward the trigger, and the only thing he seemed to want was access to it. He was not reactive in the aggressive sense. He was reactive in the FOMO sense: every other dog was a potential friend and he was being denied the meeting. This is a different problem from fear-based reactivity, and different from offensive reactivity. But it produces the same outcome: a dog who is not listening to you and who is pulling hard toward something. ## Why FOMO reactivity is still reactivity Owners of social, friendly dogs often resist the word reactive because the dog is not trying to attack anyone. But a dog whose arousal spikes the moment it spots another dog, whose attention leaves the handler completely: that is a reactive pattern. The loss of regulation is the same regardless of whether the trigger is exciting or threatening. Herne was also barking and biting at ankles during free time at home, demanding engagement, running to the fence to bark at every sound. He lived at the top of his waterline most of the day. The FOMO behaviour on walks was not a separate issue from the demand barking at home. They were the same underlying pattern: a dog who had not learned that waiting and resting near his people without requiring their direct engagement was a valid state. "Typical teenager behaviour. The impulse control that comes with maturity had not arrived yet." ## The bow-and-arrow problem The most common mistake owners make with a FOMO dog, in the moment when a trigger appears during PLAY, is to grab and tug the lead. It feels like restraining the dog. What it actually does is load the spring. You pull back, the dog pulls forward, the tension validates the excitement. When you release, the dog fires out harder than if you had never pulled. The instruction Diona gave Sophie was specific: foot on the lead, not hands on it. Stand on it where it first touches the ground. The dog can still move, but the range is short, and the anchor is in the foot rather than in a tug. There is no pulling. There is just a stop. "When you spot a trigger during PLAY, make sure you're putting your foot on the lead, not tugging it. When we tug, we create a 'bow-and-arrow effect' which validates his excitement even more." Then wait. No eye contact with the dog, no voice, no engagement. Wait until the dog's body comes back down. Ears stop tracking the trigger. Weight settles. The dog glances up. That is the signal. Say "ready" and the game picks up again. The dog has just learned that de-escalation is the path back to the thing it actually wants. ## What the initial consult homework revealed Sophie and Tassia had two weeks of homework between the initial consultation and their first formal session. The message Sophie sent the night before their first session: "It's already working wonders." Two weeks. No formal sessions yet. Just the cycle structure, the PLAY adjustments, and the crate shift. That is not unusual. The fastest changes often happen in the two weeks after the initial consultation, before the formal program has started. The structure does a large portion of the work on its own if it is applied consistently. Herne walked himself into his crate at the end of a cycle during that first fortnight. That is a dog who is finding the rest period useful rather than fighting it. ## The goal for this kind of dog With a FOMO dog, the aim is not to make the dog indifferent to other dogs. A friendly, social dog who notices other dogs and finds them interesting is fine. The goal is a dog who notices the trigger, does not escalate toward it, and brings their attention back to their handler within a reasonable time. Recovery speed, not no reaction. The measure is how fast the drop happens, not whether the reaction happened at all. At this stage of training, Sophie and Tassia were told clearly: he will bark and lunge. That is expected. The question is how fast he comes back down. Sophie and Tassia signed up for the 4-week programme after the initial consultation. By the end of it, the expectation is clear: Herne will be non-reactive, and he will walk on a loose leash. Not better. Not improved. Non-reactive, on a loose leash, consistently. That is the bar the programme is built to reach. --- **Private training in Melbourne.** A dog who wants to meet everyone is still a dog who is not listening to you. The structure that changes FOMO reactivity uses the same framework as fear reactivity. [Enquire about private dog training.](https://www.dionathetrainer.com/private-dog-training.html)